6 months

Yesterday now I suppose, still feels like today though.

Put a little windmill at her grave today and some candles, angel shaped.  It looks beautiful there but that word doesn't quite fit.  I don't know what does though, nothing really.

All we have are memories and other people, so hard, when people just don't say a word.  Caring is doing and showing, not just making up pretences for people.  If you don't say anything and do anything then to say you do care really is ludicrous.  Maybe I need to just wake up and smell the coffee. I make so many excuses for people in my head, if I didn't I would probably be in a mental hospital by now (seriously), as everyone's actions affects everyone else, it's called life.  If you act like you don't care, guess what, people might get hurt.

I feel amazingly lucky and blessed to have some wonderful people in my life, that I can talk to and say the way I feel but I just wish my dh had people that would be there for him too.  We both have some wonderful friends and we both love them.

I think I've spoken enough for now, or maybe.  This is me, this is how I feel and actually, this has helped, who knew!